


Addiction

by Bex90



Category: Shameless US - Fandom, gallavich - Fandom
Genre: Addiction, Depression, Drug Use, M/M, Mickey and Ian meet later in life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-17
Updated: 2016-04-17
Packaged: 2018-06-02 19:45:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,992
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6579958
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bex90/pseuds/Bex90
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This turned out nothing like my original idea, so much so I don't really know how to summarise it. <br/>It's a Mickey POV piece and I guess it's about the different addictions he's had throughout his life. It's somewhat canon compliant</p>
            </blockquote>





	Addiction

Mickey’s five years old when he first steals from the Kash n Grab. He’s crawling between the aisles as his older brothers terrorised Kash when he spots a couple of dusty packs of Fads underneath one of the shelves near the back of the store. Mickey quickly pockets the two packets and scampers back to his brothers who are yelling his name. Once he’s home Mickey locks himself in the bathroom and stares a himself in the mirror trying out his angriest faces with one of the sugary white sticks hanging from his lips. At five years old all Mickey wanted to be was like his older brothers – mean and scary with white sticks hanging from his mouth.

Mickey’s eight years old when he has his first taste of nicotine. Mandy manages to steal a cigarette from one of many packets lying around their living room and comes running into Mickey’s room to hide out as their father stumbled through the front door.   
“Ever tried it?” She asks, holding up the cigarette. Mickey would usually tell her to fuck off but he can hear their father crashing around the house calling her name.   
“Did you get a lighter?” Mickey asks as he sits up, making room for his sister on his bed.   
Mandy’s face falls. “Where do I get one of those?”  
“It’s ok Mands, there’s one in the draw” Mickey sniggers, pointing at the tall chest of draws against the wall. Mandy gets up, pulls the top draw open and has to stand on her toes to reach into the draw. She rummages around between Mickey’s nick-knacks before pulling her hand out, tightly clutching a black lighter.   
“How do I do this?” Mandy asked once she’s back on Mickey’s bed, the cigarette between her lips. She tried flicking the lighter a few times but couldn’t get it to work.   
“Hand it over” Mickey said, making grabby hands at his sister. Mandy hands the lighter and cigarette over and watches as her brother, almost expertly, place the nicotine stick between his lips, flicks the lighter and the cigarette end burns red. He takes a long inhale before handing it over. Mandy inhales deeply, causing loud, hacking coughs.   
“Mands you gotta blow out the smoke” Mickey chuckles as Mandy nods and tries again, this time taking Mickey’s advice and quickly exhaling. That night Mickey wrapped his arms tightly around his little sister and stroked her hair as she fell asleep. It’s not the first time and won’t be the last.   
Mickey’s ten years old the first time he gets totally, pass out drunk. He’s covered head to toe in bruises and dried blood and he’s sure his nose is broken. He pulls a hoodie over his head and storms into the Kash n Grab, shouting slurs and obscenities at Kash as he demands cigarettes and booze before heading to the abandoned building that has become a hideout. He smokes his way through three pack and downs a bottle and a half of cheap whiskey before he passes out. When he comes to, several hours later, his head is pounding and his mouth is as dry as the Sahara Desert. After throwing up his entire stomach contents Mickey stumbles home and right into chaos. There was a lot of yelling and Mandy’s cowering in the corner of the living room, her tights are ripped and there’s a budding bruise on her cheek. Iggy and Jamie were standing between her and their father who is roaring at them, brandishing a broken beer bottle. Eventually Iggy and Jamie manage to get Terry out of the house, letting a broken Mickey tend to their little sister. Once she’s asleep in his bed, Mickey finds a pack of cigarettes and smokes his way through it until the early morning sun peaked through the tattered curtains.   
Mickey’s thirteen when he loses his virginity. He doesn’t know the girl’s name, all he knows is that he’s horny as fuck and she’s opening her legs to anyone and everyone at school. The pads of his fingers are permanently blackened and the smell of cigarette smoke is etched into his skin.   
“You stink; you know that?” the girl says after they fuck. They’re in the girl’s bedroom, surrounded by too much pink and girly shit that’s starting to freak Mickey out. Particularly the poster of the cat with huge bug eyes that’s been staring at him the entire time. He doesn’t respond to the girl, only reaches over her tugs a cigarette from the pack he left on the bedside table.   
“You can’t smoke in here; my parents will kill me!” the girl squeals, batting at his hand as he goes to light up. Sighing, Mickey pulls on his clothes and without so much as a second glance in her direction, heads out of the house. When he gets home he showers for the first time in weeks, scrubbing himself raw in an attempt to rid himself of something unwanted. Something he doesn’t want to be but can’t hide from anymore.   
Mickey’s fourteen when he admits to himself he’s gay. He’s known he’s gay for a long time but it’s only now that he’s allowing himself to even consider the fact he’d like to fuck, or get fucked by, a guy. Mickey’s fucked most of the girls in his year and there are rumours flying around about his performance. Why can’t he get it up like the other boys in his year? It’s all they’re talking about, there’s an unspoken competition amongst the most popular boys – who can lose their v-card first and then fuck the most girls before the summer break. All Mickey’s trying to do is sneak a look in the boys’ locker room without getting caught. Which it turning out to be a lot harder than he thought.   
Mickey’s seventeen when he gets caught taking it up the ass by his father. They were sloppy, getting high and drunk before fucking. Terry beats the living crap out of the guy who flees with his clothes in his hands when Mickey jumps on his father’s back. When Terry lays into Mickey it’s worse, there’s so much anger, hatred and disgust behind each hit, Mickey welcomes the blackness when it comes.   
It’s Mandy who finds him, hours later. She silently washes the drying blood off his face and body and helps him into bed. She doesn’t beg him to go to the hospital. She doesn’t beg him to take off. Mandy just wraps her brother in her arms and holds him as he quietly cries himself to sleep.   
Mickey’s nineteen when he receives the best news of his life. He’s on the couch, a beer in one and a cigarette in the other when Iggy and Mandy come bounding into the house jovially.   
“What the fucks with you two?” Mickey grumbles as he watching his sister and older brother dance around him together.   
“He’s gone Mick!” Iggy all but shouts.   
“Who the fuck are you talking about?” Mickey is pulled to his feet by Mandy.   
“Fucking Terry!” Mandy exclaims. “Got caught coming back from a job and because he’s on parole he’s gone for good. The fucker got life!”  
It’s not long after that that Iggy takes off. He’s found a girl and she wants to get the fuck out of Dodge and Mickey can’t blame them. So he stands with Mandy on the front porch and waves them off. Iggy promises to stay in touch but Mickey doesn’t hold him to it. Surprisingly though, Iggy does, texting Mandy almost every day and sending her pictures of their new house.   
“I’m thinking of heading to New York, wanna come with?” Mandy asked out of the blue one day. But apparently it wasn’t so out of the blue for Mandy, she’d been thinking about it for a while she tells Mickey. She’s lined up a job at a reception centre as a waitress she says.   
“Looks like you’ve got it all sorted” Mickey retorts, sucking on a cigarette.   
“Mick, I need to get out of Chicago and this is my ticket. I want you to come with me” Mandy pleads.   
“What the fuck am I going to do in New York?” Mickey asks.   
“How about college? You could go to art school” Mandy suggests. Mickey scoffs, who the fuck’s gonna let a Milkovich into college?   
“You’re really talented Mick, you should do something with it” Mandy says, still trying to sell him the idea. Mickey thinks about the many sketch books he has hidden under his bed. It’s been his escape for so many years but he couldn’t imagine ever voluntarily showing anyone his work. Mandy was the only person who knew he drew.   
Mickey’s twenty-one when he drops out of art school. He hates the classes and can’t stand most of his professors. He can’t see the point of learning all this theory if all he wanted to do was sit somewhere with a sketch pad and a bunch of pencils or charcoal, so barely six weeks in Mickey stormed out of the first class he had and spent the rest of the day getting high and drunk. Mandy came home that night to find him passed out on the sofa, reeking of whiskey and smoke. Pretty quickly he reverts back to his old Southside self – mean, dirty and guarded, the sketch books left forgotten under his bed. It scared Mandy but she knew him well enough to keep her distance. Mickey fell into a depression, self-medicating with all the booze, drugs and cigarettes he could get his hands on. It takes a few months for Mickey to come out of the haze that he’d created for himself.   
Mickey’s twenty-three when he lands a job at a graphic design company. He really doesn’t know how it comes about, hell he doesn’t even have a portfolio to show them. But more some reason they what him. Mickey slows begins to clean up his act, the drugs are surprisingly easy to give up. That doesn’t mean the withdrawals aren’t a bitch but once they pass, it’s easy enough to forget about them. Working gives him the distraction he never knew he wanted and before long Mickey’s a perfectly upstanding, contribution member of society. Fucking hell.   
Soon after he cleans up his act, Mandy announces she’s moving out. She’s met someone and they’ve been dating for almost six months. Fuck, how did Mickey miss that? He’s happy for her, he’ll miss her but he’ll never admit that. So he meets the guy and gives his blessing, threating deathly harm if he ever hurts her as any good brother would do. He helps her pack up her shit and waves them off before heading back inside and drinking himself into oblivion. So not all drugs are that easy to give up, what the fuck are you going to do about it?  
Mickey’s twenty-six when he gets promoted to lead graphic designer. It allows him to specialise in what some would call graffiti, but Mickey calls it street art. He finds enjoyment from taking a huge blank canvas somewhere in the city and creating something beautiful. It sounds so fucking clichéd and Mickey hates it but he doesn’t know how else to describe it. So that’s why he hits up all the small, local joints he can think of and asks them if they’d like to ‘brighten up their façade’. It doesn’t take long before he can stop making the calls, these joints are now calling him. He’s so busy he has a three month waiting list. Mickey’s finally loving life. Except there’s something missing. It doesn’t a genius to work out what that something is. He doesn’t like going home very much, Mickey tries to spend as little time there as possible. It’s too quiet. It’s too empty. And Mickey doesn’t like it. So he works ridiculously long hours that his clients mistake for passion and commitment. But it works for Mickey and his bank account. His waiting list stretches out to almost six months.   
Mickey’s twenty-eight he’s told by his boss to take a holiday. He’s worked practically five years straight with no extended break.   
“You look like shit” his boss says, taking in Mickey’s tired, haggard appearance.   
“Fuck off” Mickey scoffs. He really has no idea what he looks like, he tends to avoid mirrors as much as possible these days.   
“As of tomorrow you’re on three weeks vacation” his boss says, his tone indicates there’s very little room for argument. That doesn’t stop Mickey though.   
“I don’t get a say in this?” Mickey starts but his boss puts a hand up to stop him.   
“Mickey, you’re without a doubt our best and most sought after GD in the firm but you’re working yourself into the ground. When you get back I want to talk about hiring you an assistant” His boss is a man Mickey highly respects and even though he doesn’t agree with what he’s saying right now, he doesn’t put up much more of an argument.  
“What the hell am I supposed to do on vacation?” Mickey asks, sighing.   
“What normal people do. Find some tropical location, get some sun, fuck around and just relax. You’ll come back a different man”   
Mickey came back a different man alright, he came back a fucking lobster. He took his boss’ advice and took a two-week vacation in Hawaii. He even invited Mandy and her now fiancée. Worst idea of his life. The couple spent most of the time in their room fucking, leaving Mickey on his own to lie by the pool or wander the overly touristy district they were staying in.  
The sunburn was incredibly painful and Mickey never lived it down. It took him weeks to recover and he vowed he’d never be vacationing in the sun again. 

Mickey’s just about to turn thirty when he realises he’s in love with his PA. Shortly after his Hawaiian vacation an assistant was hired to help Mickey at the office. The assistant was tall, muscular and a redhead. He was fucking beautiful and very attentive. He’s a quick learner, picking up on Mickey’s moods in a matter of weeks. They develop a language that no-one else can understand and Mickey finds himself worrying about the redhead when he calls in sick for the first time. He doesn’t know why he’s heading over to the assistant’s apartment after work but it feels like the right thing to do. He wants to help the younger man.   
The first time they fuck is after hours in Mickey’s office and Ian’s been working for Mickey for about six months. The sexual tension’s been building for a long and finally exploded one summer night.   
“I’ve been wanting to do that since the day I started” Ian confessed as they laid on the floor of Mickey’s office, basking in the post coital glow. Mickey only scoffed but he curls into Ian’s side and falls asleep, completely and utterly content. It’s a high like he’s never felt before.   
Mickey’s thirty-one when he takes a week off to help Ian move in. They both knew it wouldn’t take a whole week to move Ian into Mickey’s pent house apartment but they also knew they’d need the remaining days to christen each and every corner of their place. Mandy meets Ian during that week and Mickey’s happy to see his boyfriend and his sister hit it off instantly. They laugh and tease each other like they’ve known each other for years.   
“You love him, don’t you?” Mandy whispers as she leaves late one night.   
Mickey blushes but can’t deny his sister. “Yeah Mands, I really do”   
It’s a few weeks later when Mickey finally tells Ian what Mandy already knew. There’s tears in Ian’s eyes as he kisses Mickey and tells him the same. Mickey’s so fucking happy he barely knows how to deal with it.   
Mickey’s thirty-three when he decides to proposes to Ian. He makes the decision early one Sunday morning as he sits in the corner of their bedroom, sketching his sleeping boyfriend. The early morning light perfectly highlighting Ian’s best features and making his red hair glow. Ian swore he wasn’t snooping when he found Mickey’s sketch books and Mickey takes the hint when the redhead gives him a new sketch book and a set of very expensive pencils and charcoal for his thirty-third birthday. Secretly Mickey loved it, he now had an excuse to get back into sketching.   
The proposal is corny as shit but Ian loves every minute, just as Mickey knew he would. He books a private table at Ian’s favourite restaurant and orders the most expensive bottle of champagne on the menu. Mickey excuses himself to use the bathroom but detours to the kitchen where he gives their waiter a simple silver band.   
“Can you put this in Ian’s drink?” Mickey asks, trying to ignore the waiters growing smile.   
“Of course, of course!” the waiter gushes and Mickey heads back Ian. He’s sweating buckets when the waiter brings over their drinks.   
“What the fuck are you staring at?” Ian laughs at Mickey who has been staring intently at the half empty glass.   
“Finish your drink” is all Mickey says. Ian shoots him a questioning look but downs the last of his drink and Mickey almost freaks out when he thinks Ian’s swallowed the ring. But Ian didn’t, the silver band hits his teeth and falls back into the glass, making the redhead stare into the glass and then up at Mickey with wide eyes. Ian’s in tears as Mickey slips onto one knee and asks the redhead to spend the rest of his life with him.   
“Yes, yes yes!” Ian says tearfully as he takes Mickey’s face between his hands and kisses him deeply.   
It’s then that Mickey realises that not all addictions are bad. Ian is the best addiction he’s ever had.

**Author's Note:**

> For those of you who don't know, Fads are an Australian candy that's been around since the 40s. They were was a sugar stick wrapped in paper and covered in sugar powder. They were originally called Fags (yes, I know) and had a red tip to emulate a real cigarette. As a 90s child I knew them as Fads and they didn't have the paper wrap or the red tip but still very much looked like a cigarette. As far as I know they've been taken out of circulation for obvious reasons.


End file.
